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But it came tumbling in on me. That night. I shook my head to keep those memories away. That bastard. I let myself remember making my decision, though. Taking the pills, then realizing that it was not going to be enough. If two are prescribed for sleep, four weren't going to, like, kill ... So I'd thought of the bridge. The hurried walk, standing there, getting ready to jump, and then...And then what?Was I even still alive? Unfortunately, I felt alive. In fact, I felt alive enough that I realized I needed to pee. I lay there a minute longer, putting off the inevitable. And then I remembered more: someone grabbing me and holding me, a car, crying and pain, and ... nothing else.Maybe I was, like, at a psych ward or something. Maybe Harborview? But it didn't look like hospital. Nor a jail, not like I'd ever actually been in one. Motel? Didn't seem right, with just one twin bed. There weren't any motel rooms with one twin bed, were there? And why did it rock?I gave up thinking and pulled. I didn't want him to know that I'm his killer. Another one of my principles.My hand slide down my chest and I noticed how hard my nipples got by thinking of James. Hell - this was the oddest job I had ever. A little moan escaped my lips. Then there was another knocking - I must have been underneath the shower for more than 15 minutes now. So it didn't surprise me that he was wondering if I'm alright. "You okay in there?" I heard him asking. "Everything's just fine - I'm done!" I replied and turned off the water. I dried my hair a little and pulled it back to a ponytail again. I quickly started to dress. And as expected: if one mistake happens then a bunch of others follow. I opened up the door totally forgetting about my gun, which was still placed on the sink. I walked into the living room and there was James sitting on the couch. He looked like he was waiting for me the whole time. I flushed a little - which I shouldn't. I usually don't - but why is this happening to me right now..
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